Life is a funny thing. A chaotic and messy and blessed thing.
For the past 2 1/2 years I have been so caught up in the intricacies of life that I forgot how much I value the written word. Through writing, I am able to make sense of all the nonsense floating around in my mind. Putting my thoughts onto paper (or screen) makes them real. I've missed that.
Teaching in Thailand pushed me far outside my comfort zone. I didn't realize I had so much growing up to do, but I was changed in a way that I never thought possible. In a similar, but very different way, this semester has dropped me to the breaking point I didn't know I had. Moving forward in light of such darkness is a conscious effort, and, more often than not, I find myself getting caught up in all the negative aspects of any given situation. Without fully realizing it, I end up losing sight of the good things in my life. That ends now.
Last week I had to facilitate a 3 hour discussion in my Industrial Organizational Psychology course. Naturally, that was the day I had been dreading all semester. 20 minute presentations are bad enough, but 3 hours?! Heck, I can drive to PG in 3 hours! Talk about perspective :P I was so focused on the seemingly endless challenge and the the possibility of failure that I had a hard time even acknowledging the potential for success. I knew the chapter I was to teach forwards and backwards, but confidence was hard to find. It wasn't until after I had survived the dreaded day that I recognized how far I've come.
A few months ago, life suddenly became crazier than ever. In spite of that, Chelsea and I turned a simple class project into a published, peer reviewed article in SUU's academic journal. I came up with and started working on my undergraduate thesis - you know, the one I don't have to do to graduate, but feel oddly compelled to do anyway. I successfully led a 3 hour discussion.
I've always been good at school, but it wasn't until a few days ago that I figured out why. School pushes me to do and become better. Daunting tasks that seem impossible slowly become a reality as, day by day, I take small steps that propel me ever-forward, toward my potential.
Graduation is right around the corner and, honestly, that scares me. A lot. That's the thing about life, though; it's messy and it's scary, but the challenges we face today prepare us for the person we need to be tomorrow. Growth is possible because of our challenges. Because of the the occasional and sometimes lasting bad, the good parts of life can be sweeter, more meaningful.
Life can be messy, but ultimately it is our choices that dictate how the situation will play out. I firmly believe that with the right attitude, any situation can become an opportunity for growth and enlightenment.
Life is a reflection of perception.
