Slowing Down to Enjoy the Journey

Intentions get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Nothing happens and yet memories get left behind. Time goes by, people and situations change, you change. In the moment it feels like everything is back to how it was.. except it's not. Life is ever moving forward and all you can do is take it one step at a time.

I've come to realize that time is precious. With every passing day I see little things that make me happy, that make smile and laugh, those tiny seemingly insignificant bits of everyday life that in fact make up the high of my day are slowly fading from my memory. 

So here's to the memories. Lessons learned and time well spent.

Fall Break:

Road trip with my 5 Cent... ha definitely a much needed break for the both of us. Every bit of the 3 days was worth it. Only a handful of friends have seen that side of who I am.. and I wonder. What's it like to new eyes? The never-ending sage brush, hills, and mountains. The pastures speckled with hundreds of cattle and horses. The brilliant night sky, completely... perfect.  

FTX Field Training Exercise:

Plain and simple?? I feel like even though the majority of my military experience comes from a college class, I have gained enough to realize how much these men and women sacrifice for our country. Even the basics that I've been lucky enough to learn have taught me so much about the soldiers who fight for us. Their determination, courage and utmost strength and sense of sacrifice. It's an adventure and way of life that can be found nowhere else.. The stories I've heard, the atmosphere I feel when surrounded by military soldiers... Its amazing. I absolutely love it.

Also. I've discovered that when it comes to long/important trips... I don't like to be spontaneous. It stresses me out. I plan. Simple as that. Once upon a time I was in my kill me now class and I asked Nicole to come kill me. Or kidnap me. Either way.. that class is awful. Well. Long story short, I was reminded that I was the one with the car.. and after thinking about it for ten minutes, I left class eager to see my family and friends. Let's just say if hell froze over then that's what I had to drive through. I have never driven with such undivided focus.. I couldn't even change the cd that was playing!! Luckily for me, I had a friend on speed dial :) Ha, but seriously. I was scared. Talking helped. A ton. 

Seeing my family was great :) There really is nowhere like home. 

And BYU?? Well.. still not a fan, but Wyview isn't so bad. They do have comfy couches ;)

And... right now? I've been up for 23 hours. That's what happens when you watch 2 creepy ghost movies til 2:30 a.m. and then end up talking with Chlesh all night. Haha college is grand :D

Always

As of late I've had a lot on my mind, friends being one of the more pressing matters. College and living on your own for the very first time is.. interesting. There's parts you love. And there's things that you hate. People you connect with and people who irritate the crap out of you. As I said before, interesting.

I've come to realize that college has a way of showing who the true friends are. Sure, it's about making new friends, but I think it's also about discovering the true sides of people. Yourself included. Confused? Let me explain it with a story.

Once upon a time I had a couple high school classes with this one girl. We were those friends who would mock each other whenever we saw one another, but didn't really hang out outside of school. She definitely made Stats and English more bearable. Well. This truly amazing thing happened called Graduation. Then came summer. Me and this one girl, we hung out every once in awhile. A midnight showing to Hunger Games here, local carnival there.. nothin too fancy or formal. Just bored teenagers in a small town. Ooh, and I can't forget the ever more common visits to each other's work. Harassment at its greatest I'll admit :) Good memories :) And, when I was in a very generous mood, a run to Panda for said friend.

But in walked the biggest change of my life. Moving to college. Living on my own with Chelsea and 4 strangers.. Now, you have to understand that no matter how I describe this, nothing is going to give it justice.. No matter who you are, when you do something new for the first time you're going to have issues. Well, somewhere along this life transition me and this girl started texting every day. Oh, and see, she goes to BYU. Lame I know. I'm disappointed too... Anyhow, we began talking and sharing our troubles with one another. I tell her what's on my mind and she gives me her advice (Most commonly it's pray about it.. which.. not gonna lie has helped me out a ton. This girl is wisdom I'm tellin ya) and when she has a problem or a complaint or whatever, well thats when I turn into the listening ear. And as sarcastic as I am, believe it or not I do have some tidbits of magical wisdom to share. 

I honestly don't know what I would do without this amazing example in my life. She has helped me through some sticky situations.. like.. murder was in the making. Having that person who I can trust without fail.. it's amazing. It really is. Whether I need to vent, complain, seek guidance or even share good news. She's always there for me, and me for her, and I love her. Ha, whoever said long distance relationships don't work obviously needs to try going to college ;) 

Now, to tie this back to my main point. Back in High School, and I'm just being honest here, but this wasn't a relationship that I predicted. I mean sure we were friends, but now? Ha she knows my head like nobody else... yeah yeah, poor girl I know.. but really. I'm forever grateful :) 

Leaders of Tomorrow

I've been in Cedar for a month. It's crazy, but now I consider this my home. My roommates are my family and school? Well its really not that bad :)

I'm taking 15 credits: American Economy, Intro to Computer Literacy (it's lame. It's exactly like computer tech in high school.. but that just means it's easy so I'm not complaining). Microeconomics (I thought this was going to be my most difficult class, but so far it's not too hard), umm.. my Univ 1040 class which is an intro to the EDGE program here at SUU (my professor is a PhD in Philosophy so that's definitely an interesting class). I'm taking a Book of Mormon Institute class and lastly but definitely not least Army ROTC (Reserve Officers' Training Corps).

Didn't expect that last one?? Yeah. Me neither.

Here's the short version.

I originally registered for Calculus II... but after one day I decided it wasn't worth it. But dropping that class dropped my 16 credit hours down to 12, which meant I needed a replacement. There was ROTC, no obligations and lots of fun (paintballing, helicopter ride, rappelling (they lied. We never got to rappel), weapons training and way more cool activities) or some required general ed class. It took me a couple days but I registered for the ROTC class. Obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't be talking about it.

I have been issued tons of gear: ACU (the digi cam army uniform), LBV (a vest. Apparently it's Vietnam War era.. but still. Its way cool), rucksack, duffel bag, boots, hat, gloves, PT uniform and jacket.. Its a lot of stuff.

I have class Tuesday morning right after Institute and then on Thursdays a lab from 2:30 - 4:50. That's where we go out and practice different drills and formations and such. Yesterday we did ambushes and other drills. I have to say, at the beginning I wasn't too excited (then again the Major did tell us we had to fill our rucksack with rocks and hike to the C.. that would have been brutal.. luckily he was kidding. Some joke.) but by the end I was proud of myself and feeling accomplished. Friday mornings are PT (physical training). Bright and early.. 6-7, which means I have to get up at 5 otherwise I don't get up.

Oh so during Flight School a couple weeks ago Thor (the mascot) was 'kidnapped' by ROTC and sent to 'boot camp'. Our first home football game was this past Saturday and ROTC was unveiling the new Thor. I decided I would be a part of that. A group of us got together, marched on the football field during halftime, did our thing, then marched off. At the beginning I was super nervous. My dear roommates whom I love so much were mocking me (all in good fun, no worries) telling me I was going to trip. Well. Come game day and waiting around on the steps out of sight from the crowd my knees got all shaky and I was suddenly worried that I would trip... I didn't :) Walking out I was glad that I had volunteered for this. Glad that I could help represent. And glad that I did not trip.

Photo by Kathy Poore and her poor phone:)

I've found that this is a love-hate relationship. I love some of the stuff we do, but the exercise is super tough. And I'm not a morning person. But besides those 2 things I could actually maybe see myself getting involved. For real.. I don't know. I won't rule it out though.

Another thing I've discovered is I'm way more self confident. After lab or PT I'm exhausted but still alive. Ha that's seriously how I think. I come home and I'm alive. I didn't die and I didn't fall behind so I'm proud of myself and what I've accomplished that day.

My future is a mystery, but I can already tell that this experience will impact me for the positive and I'll be a better person for it.

I Survived

I survived day two of my SUU experience. ✔

This morning was rough.. but I actually feel like I'm adjusting. Slowly.

I bought my mailbox, made my first dinner, and found a list of potential jobs. Pinecone picker being the top on the list... but hey a job's a job.

The Page Has Turned

Its been a month.. I'm terrible I know. My most deep and sincere apologizes to those of you who actually read the ramblings of my mind. With a fresh start comes goals. I am hereby swearing to be better at my blog-keeping... well I'll try to anyway;)

I am beginning life anew. Seeing through a different perspective, that of a freshman college student living outside the valley that has been home to me my whole life. Though the same rules apply.. they don't. I am on my own.. and yet I'm not. It's school.. but it's more than just school. The page has turned and the next chapter is heading the page in bold letters.

This is happening.

I say that, and yet it hasn't hit home yet. 

The hardest thing I did today was say goodbye to my mom.. She was leaving and I was staying. But from the moment I walked away until now there hasn't been more than ten minutes when I haven't been surrounded by people I love. Chelsea, though she may not realize it, is keeping me from the meltdown I know is coming. The one where I question why I'm here. I know this is where I'm supposed to be, but in the moment its hard to comprehend the bigger picture. All you see is the small bubble labeled 'comfort zone' and how it is miles and miles away from you... But. As I said, it hasn't hit home yet. My friends here are keeping me grounded and with the familiarity that they carry, they are my sole link to my keeping it together. 

This post isn't meant to be a downer. In all honesty I have enjoyed almost every moment of today. I have met new people, listened to an exceptional speaker, tie dyed, walked around campus and watched a movie with the best friend I have here. I am going to love my time as a student, maybe not so much the tests and studying and the school aspect of it, but all the experiences in between.

Thank you to all who have supported me. I wouldn't be where I am now if it weren't for each of you.

Wish me luck!

Live & Laugh Always

LIVE and LAUGH

I think this would be a great tattoo.

A reminder to live life and enjoy every moment,

to laugh at the good things and the bad.

Look on life with positivity and fun. 

Adventure is out there, and it makes life exciting. 

I give you my new life motto.

Ha and mafi mushkila,

I won't be getting any ink..

Not permanent anyway ;)

LIVE and LAUGH 

Summer Adventures :)

Oh how the time flies..

Okay so Charley's in Missouri for AIT, and though he's been gone 5 weeks and still has 4 more fridays to go. I talk to him all the time, but still, I miss him a ton, I really do. He's one of my best friends and I don't ever want to lose him.

..

As for other happenings, I got bored one Sunday and weaseled my way into my ward's girl's camp. And ya know, I honestly think it was the 3 near death experiences that made this year's camp one of my all time favorites. True, it was very weird being graduated and one of the oldest girls there. I mean, this was my ward, I know and love the girls and leaders.. and yet.. I felt as if I didn't quite belong. Anyway. On to the stories,

1) We camped near the river, and on the second day we were supposed to go tubing.. problem was nobody had been down the river. Bellows, Sis Potter and Sis Hollis accompanied me and Kylee down from our camp. The first couple minutes was fine. Calm waters, great scenery, deep cold water. But of course there had to be a hill. Our calm waters very quickly turned into dangerous rapids. I consider myself to be somewhat experienced when it comes to rafting.. but this.. this was intense. There were a few times when I honestly thought I could die. Adrenaline was pumping. We got to the bottom, a priesthood leader picked us up and drove us up to the top. The waters were amazingly more calm, ha, which was good. It gave us time to recover from our last experience. We got all the way to the bridge, floated past it.. then heard a scream. Sis. Hollis had been in front and when coming close to rounding a corner when all of a sudden a moose ran into the water in front of her.. ..So apparently there was this territorial baby moose who was gigantic and didn't like people at that particular stretch in the river.. I just laughed. It was a baby moose. Not scary at all. *my opinion does change later on* We jumped out at the bridge and walked back to camp.

2) Same day, our YW was split into 4 groups and each went to a station for an hour. Tubing (only to the bridge), rappelling, crafts and an obstacle course or games or something. Not only was I an extra person, but I've had experience with rappelling. Because of these, Bellows had me help her out as her belayer, the person holding the rope at the bottom of the cliff. My job was to make sure if someone slipped they wouldn't fall all the way down the cliff. That would be bad. Very bad. Kylee, as our medic, was at the bottom with me. Now, normally being the belayer is relatively safe.. Ha yeah, not so much this time. But it was an adventure. Whenever the girls' would come down they'd kick loose rocks down on us. Let me tell you, by the end of the 5ish hours we were there, we could have been pro rock dodgers. Kylee would yell 'Rock!' then our complete focus was on not only dodging, but keeping balanced. There were a few close calls, but besides a few scratches, we came out fine and filled with pride. And a lot of gospel ties to rappelling.

3) Every year we go on a hike. Well, I figured this year since I wasn't technically part of the yw's anymore it wasn't necessary for me to go along. So what'd I do? I pretended to take a nap. When they were gone I got up, helped Sis Allmon with the food a bit then walked to the top of the river and tubed down by myself. Smart? Ha not a chance. Fun? Eh, kinda. I was kinda nervous the whole time. I hadn't seen the moose from the bridge so I had no idea where he was. Coming down the river I jumped at each and every sound, worried that I was about to be run out of the river. By the time I hit the bridge I figured I was just being a wimp. This moose was a wild animal, animals move they don't stay in one place, territorial or not. I decided I would continue past the bridge and see if I could make it back to our camp. So I continue floating. I about 10 yards from the curve when I hear a thunderous noise a little ahead and to my right. I look and see a brown blob running away. I knew without a doubt it was the moose. In that instant I almost had a heart attack. Then he walks halfway into the water staring daggers my way. I struggled to get to my feet and once I did I found the water deeper and with a stronger current than I had anticipated. Looking back, baby moose (We named him Gawker) was completely in the water still just staring at me. Daring me to come closer. I ran as fast as I could, but it wasn't fast enough apparently. Throughout this whole thing a few things ran through my mind on repeat. "Oh Crap." "I'm so stupid, how could I be so stupid?" "I'm by myself, I could get trampled by this moose and die and nobody would know what happened." and "Crapcrapcrap." Honestly, I take pride in the fact that I didn't swear. I've never swore and plan to keep it that way. Risking a glance back, I almost fell when I saw him take a step forward. It seemed like it took me hours to make it safely onto the bridge and out of any immediate danger from dear little Gawker. I walked/ran back to camp, my adrenaline not calming down for about half hour.

That was girl's camp. Right after I spent a week at Dad's for Bosten's baptism. The trip as a whole was great, we pretty much played the entire time. Friday we went rock-climbing, 4 wheeling and caving. And Dad found a baby eagle that couldn't fly very well. We cornered it on a 5' ledge and took about 40 pictures...

 

 This bird is real. I've been told these pictures look Photoshopped but I'm here to say they are legit.

Dad here got about a foot away.. See the claws on this bird?! 

Caving, well ha, this was the most legit caving I've ever done. I loved every minute of it.

Bosten's baptism was amazing.. except for the part where I had to give a talk! The talk itself wasn't too bad, I told a story, read a song and went too fast. But besides that I enjoyed myself. Ha it was weird though, I realized that from her baptism day (July 8, 2012) I had been baptized 10 years, 1 month and 1 week ago (June 1, 2002).. Sure makes a person feel old..