Bits and Pieces

After 14 weeks I find myself amazed at what life has brought. I've always been scared of change. Little or big.. it's intimidating. The unknown is.. well, it's unknown. But you know what? I've come to realize that this big scary move to college.. it's not scary at all. 

Classes are over. It's finals week. And what am I thinking?? I can't stop thinking about how great college is. 

The friends I've made, the late night chats with Chels, the all-nighters, watching tv on my laptop in the dark with headphones in while Chels does the same 3 feet away, chillin in the living room socializing (Shleb, socialize? Crazy huh??), skyping a certain byu-goer, cooking my own meals (eating nothing but junk food), editing a friend's paper on a Friday night, the awful quotes that make it into 304's Quote Book, the random sticky notes from my roommates..

The more I think about it, the more I appreciate every moment that I've had here in Cedar. It's weird that my first semester is almost over.. so much has happened, and yet there is still so much in store.

Just Keep Swimming :D

Sometimes 2 of my best friends come down to Cedar for a swim meet. And sometimes I go watch and visit with them.

Easily the best way to spend my Friday afternoon.. surrounded by people I love from the place I call home. Was there a live Slender game being played on campus that I wanted to be a part of? Yeah, there was. Tell me this though. How often are my friends in town?? I've come to realize that my friends are high on my priority list. I would do almost anything for a friend in need. I love my friends. And as I've come to recently find out, my 3 best friends are all planning on leaving for missions. Don't get me wrong, I'm immensely proud of each of them and I know they'll be amazing servants to the Lord.. But  time suddenly means everything. Every minute I spend with them is a minute I will treasure and hold dear.

After the meet I found my Chlesh and joined her Slender group. I spotted the 3rd note... and then we died. The 2 Slenders ganged up on us :/ haha but I'm glad I got to play for a bit. The rest of the night was spent with Chlesh watching scary ghost movies and talking. All. Night. Long. I've been awake for 33 hours... And I've only had one coke today :D Haha :D This morning I went back to the Aquatic Center and cheered for my friends. Made some new ones as well. All in all, pretty much everything about today has been great.

The most important thing about today?? I want my friends to know that if they need anything I will be there. No matter what. What time, where I am.. It doesn't matter. I will do my best to help and support you, because you matter to me.

Slowing Down to Enjoy the Journey

Intentions get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Nothing happens and yet memories get left behind. Time goes by, people and situations change, you change. In the moment it feels like everything is back to how it was.. except it's not. Life is ever moving forward and all you can do is take it one step at a time.

I've come to realize that time is precious. With every passing day I see little things that make me happy, that make smile and laugh, those tiny seemingly insignificant bits of everyday life that in fact make up the high of my day are slowly fading from my memory. 

So here's to the memories. Lessons learned and time well spent.

Fall Break:

Road trip with my 5 Cent... ha definitely a much needed break for the both of us. Every bit of the 3 days was worth it. Only a handful of friends have seen that side of who I am.. and I wonder. What's it like to new eyes? The never-ending sage brush, hills, and mountains. The pastures speckled with hundreds of cattle and horses. The brilliant night sky, completely... perfect.  

FTX Field Training Exercise:

Plain and simple?? I feel like even though the majority of my military experience comes from a college class, I have gained enough to realize how much these men and women sacrifice for our country. Even the basics that I've been lucky enough to learn have taught me so much about the soldiers who fight for us. Their determination, courage and utmost strength and sense of sacrifice. It's an adventure and way of life that can be found nowhere else.. The stories I've heard, the atmosphere I feel when surrounded by military soldiers... Its amazing. I absolutely love it.

Also. I've discovered that when it comes to long/important trips... I don't like to be spontaneous. It stresses me out. I plan. Simple as that. Once upon a time I was in my kill me now class and I asked Nicole to come kill me. Or kidnap me. Either way.. that class is awful. Well. Long story short, I was reminded that I was the one with the car.. and after thinking about it for ten minutes, I left class eager to see my family and friends. Let's just say if hell froze over then that's what I had to drive through. I have never driven with such undivided focus.. I couldn't even change the cd that was playing!! Luckily for me, I had a friend on speed dial :) Ha, but seriously. I was scared. Talking helped. A ton. 

Seeing my family was great :) There really is nowhere like home. 

And BYU?? Well.. still not a fan, but Wyview isn't so bad. They do have comfy couches ;)

And... right now? I've been up for 23 hours. That's what happens when you watch 2 creepy ghost movies til 2:30 a.m. and then end up talking with Chlesh all night. Haha college is grand :D

Always

As of late I've had a lot on my mind, friends being one of the more pressing matters. College and living on your own for the very first time is.. interesting. There's parts you love. And there's things that you hate. People you connect with and people who irritate the crap out of you. As I said before, interesting.

I've come to realize that college has a way of showing who the true friends are. Sure, it's about making new friends, but I think it's also about discovering the true sides of people. Yourself included. Confused? Let me explain it with a story.

Once upon a time I had a couple high school classes with this one girl. We were those friends who would mock each other whenever we saw one another, but didn't really hang out outside of school. She definitely made Stats and English more bearable. Well. This truly amazing thing happened called Graduation. Then came summer. Me and this one girl, we hung out every once in awhile. A midnight showing to Hunger Games here, local carnival there.. nothin too fancy or formal. Just bored teenagers in a small town. Ooh, and I can't forget the ever more common visits to each other's work. Harassment at its greatest I'll admit :) Good memories :) And, when I was in a very generous mood, a run to Panda for said friend.

But in walked the biggest change of my life. Moving to college. Living on my own with Chelsea and 4 strangers.. Now, you have to understand that no matter how I describe this, nothing is going to give it justice.. No matter who you are, when you do something new for the first time you're going to have issues. Well, somewhere along this life transition me and this girl started texting every day. Oh, and see, she goes to BYU. Lame I know. I'm disappointed too... Anyhow, we began talking and sharing our troubles with one another. I tell her what's on my mind and she gives me her advice (Most commonly it's pray about it.. which.. not gonna lie has helped me out a ton. This girl is wisdom I'm tellin ya) and when she has a problem or a complaint or whatever, well thats when I turn into the listening ear. And as sarcastic as I am, believe it or not I do have some tidbits of magical wisdom to share. 

I honestly don't know what I would do without this amazing example in my life. She has helped me through some sticky situations.. like.. murder was in the making. Having that person who I can trust without fail.. it's amazing. It really is. Whether I need to vent, complain, seek guidance or even share good news. She's always there for me, and me for her, and I love her. Ha, whoever said long distance relationships don't work obviously needs to try going to college ;) 

Now, to tie this back to my main point. Back in High School, and I'm just being honest here, but this wasn't a relationship that I predicted. I mean sure we were friends, but now? Ha she knows my head like nobody else... yeah yeah, poor girl I know.. but really. I'm forever grateful :) 

Leaders of Tomorrow

I've been in Cedar for a month. It's crazy, but now I consider this my home. My roommates are my family and school? Well its really not that bad :)

I'm taking 15 credits: American Economy, Intro to Computer Literacy (it's lame. It's exactly like computer tech in high school.. but that just means it's easy so I'm not complaining). Microeconomics (I thought this was going to be my most difficult class, but so far it's not too hard), umm.. my Univ 1040 class which is an intro to the EDGE program here at SUU (my professor is a PhD in Philosophy so that's definitely an interesting class). I'm taking a Book of Mormon Institute class and lastly but definitely not least Army ROTC (Reserve Officers' Training Corps).

Didn't expect that last one?? Yeah. Me neither.

Here's the short version.

I originally registered for Calculus II... but after one day I decided it wasn't worth it. But dropping that class dropped my 16 credit hours down to 12, which meant I needed a replacement. There was ROTC, no obligations and lots of fun (paintballing, helicopter ride, rappelling (they lied. We never got to rappel), weapons training and way more cool activities) or some required general ed class. It took me a couple days but I registered for the ROTC class. Obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't be talking about it.

I have been issued tons of gear: ACU (the digi cam army uniform), LBV (a vest. Apparently it's Vietnam War era.. but still. Its way cool), rucksack, duffel bag, boots, hat, gloves, PT uniform and jacket.. Its a lot of stuff.

I have class Tuesday morning right after Institute and then on Thursdays a lab from 2:30 - 4:50. That's where we go out and practice different drills and formations and such. Yesterday we did ambushes and other drills. I have to say, at the beginning I wasn't too excited (then again the Major did tell us we had to fill our rucksack with rocks and hike to the C.. that would have been brutal.. luckily he was kidding. Some joke.) but by the end I was proud of myself and feeling accomplished. Friday mornings are PT (physical training). Bright and early.. 6-7, which means I have to get up at 5 otherwise I don't get up.

Oh so during Flight School a couple weeks ago Thor (the mascot) was 'kidnapped' by ROTC and sent to 'boot camp'. Our first home football game was this past Saturday and ROTC was unveiling the new Thor. I decided I would be a part of that. A group of us got together, marched on the football field during halftime, did our thing, then marched off. At the beginning I was super nervous. My dear roommates whom I love so much were mocking me (all in good fun, no worries) telling me I was going to trip. Well. Come game day and waiting around on the steps out of sight from the crowd my knees got all shaky and I was suddenly worried that I would trip... I didn't :) Walking out I was glad that I had volunteered for this. Glad that I could help represent. And glad that I did not trip.

Photo by Kathy Poore and her poor phone:)

I've found that this is a love-hate relationship. I love some of the stuff we do, but the exercise is super tough. And I'm not a morning person. But besides those 2 things I could actually maybe see myself getting involved. For real.. I don't know. I won't rule it out though.

Another thing I've discovered is I'm way more self confident. After lab or PT I'm exhausted but still alive. Ha that's seriously how I think. I come home and I'm alive. I didn't die and I didn't fall behind so I'm proud of myself and what I've accomplished that day.

My future is a mystery, but I can already tell that this experience will impact me for the positive and I'll be a better person for it.

I Survived

I survived day two of my SUU experience. ✔

This morning was rough.. but I actually feel like I'm adjusting. Slowly.

I bought my mailbox, made my first dinner, and found a list of potential jobs. Pinecone picker being the top on the list... but hey a job's a job.

The Page Has Turned

Its been a month.. I'm terrible I know. My most deep and sincere apologizes to those of you who actually read the ramblings of my mind. With a fresh start comes goals. I am hereby swearing to be better at my blog-keeping... well I'll try to anyway;)

I am beginning life anew. Seeing through a different perspective, that of a freshman college student living outside the valley that has been home to me my whole life. Though the same rules apply.. they don't. I am on my own.. and yet I'm not. It's school.. but it's more than just school. The page has turned and the next chapter is heading the page in bold letters.

This is happening.

I say that, and yet it hasn't hit home yet. 

The hardest thing I did today was say goodbye to my mom.. She was leaving and I was staying. But from the moment I walked away until now there hasn't been more than ten minutes when I haven't been surrounded by people I love. Chelsea, though she may not realize it, is keeping me from the meltdown I know is coming. The one where I question why I'm here. I know this is where I'm supposed to be, but in the moment its hard to comprehend the bigger picture. All you see is the small bubble labeled 'comfort zone' and how it is miles and miles away from you... But. As I said, it hasn't hit home yet. My friends here are keeping me grounded and with the familiarity that they carry, they are my sole link to my keeping it together. 

This post isn't meant to be a downer. In all honesty I have enjoyed almost every moment of today. I have met new people, listened to an exceptional speaker, tie dyed, walked around campus and watched a movie with the best friend I have here. I am going to love my time as a student, maybe not so much the tests and studying and the school aspect of it, but all the experiences in between.

Thank you to all who have supported me. I wouldn't be where I am now if it weren't for each of you.

Wish me luck!

Live & Laugh Always

LIVE and LAUGH

I think this would be a great tattoo.

A reminder to live life and enjoy every moment,

to laugh at the good things and the bad.

Look on life with positivity and fun. 

Adventure is out there, and it makes life exciting. 

I give you my new life motto.

Ha and mafi mushkila,

I won't be getting any ink..

Not permanent anyway ;)

LIVE and LAUGH 

Summer Adventures :)

Oh how the time flies..

Okay so Charley's in Missouri for AIT, and though he's been gone 5 weeks and still has 4 more fridays to go. I talk to him all the time, but still, I miss him a ton, I really do. He's one of my best friends and I don't ever want to lose him.

..

As for other happenings, I got bored one Sunday and weaseled my way into my ward's girl's camp. And ya know, I honestly think it was the 3 near death experiences that made this year's camp one of my all time favorites. True, it was very weird being graduated and one of the oldest girls there. I mean, this was my ward, I know and love the girls and leaders.. and yet.. I felt as if I didn't quite belong. Anyway. On to the stories,

1) We camped near the river, and on the second day we were supposed to go tubing.. problem was nobody had been down the river. Bellows, Sis Potter and Sis Hollis accompanied me and Kylee down from our camp. The first couple minutes was fine. Calm waters, great scenery, deep cold water. But of course there had to be a hill. Our calm waters very quickly turned into dangerous rapids. I consider myself to be somewhat experienced when it comes to rafting.. but this.. this was intense. There were a few times when I honestly thought I could die. Adrenaline was pumping. We got to the bottom, a priesthood leader picked us up and drove us up to the top. The waters were amazingly more calm, ha, which was good. It gave us time to recover from our last experience. We got all the way to the bridge, floated past it.. then heard a scream. Sis. Hollis had been in front and when coming close to rounding a corner when all of a sudden a moose ran into the water in front of her.. ..So apparently there was this territorial baby moose who was gigantic and didn't like people at that particular stretch in the river.. I just laughed. It was a baby moose. Not scary at all. *my opinion does change later on* We jumped out at the bridge and walked back to camp.

2) Same day, our YW was split into 4 groups and each went to a station for an hour. Tubing (only to the bridge), rappelling, crafts and an obstacle course or games or something. Not only was I an extra person, but I've had experience with rappelling. Because of these, Bellows had me help her out as her belayer, the person holding the rope at the bottom of the cliff. My job was to make sure if someone slipped they wouldn't fall all the way down the cliff. That would be bad. Very bad. Kylee, as our medic, was at the bottom with me. Now, normally being the belayer is relatively safe.. Ha yeah, not so much this time. But it was an adventure. Whenever the girls' would come down they'd kick loose rocks down on us. Let me tell you, by the end of the 5ish hours we were there, we could have been pro rock dodgers. Kylee would yell 'Rock!' then our complete focus was on not only dodging, but keeping balanced. There were a few close calls, but besides a few scratches, we came out fine and filled with pride. And a lot of gospel ties to rappelling.

3) Every year we go on a hike. Well, I figured this year since I wasn't technically part of the yw's anymore it wasn't necessary for me to go along. So what'd I do? I pretended to take a nap. When they were gone I got up, helped Sis Allmon with the food a bit then walked to the top of the river and tubed down by myself. Smart? Ha not a chance. Fun? Eh, kinda. I was kinda nervous the whole time. I hadn't seen the moose from the bridge so I had no idea where he was. Coming down the river I jumped at each and every sound, worried that I was about to be run out of the river. By the time I hit the bridge I figured I was just being a wimp. This moose was a wild animal, animals move they don't stay in one place, territorial or not. I decided I would continue past the bridge and see if I could make it back to our camp. So I continue floating. I about 10 yards from the curve when I hear a thunderous noise a little ahead and to my right. I look and see a brown blob running away. I knew without a doubt it was the moose. In that instant I almost had a heart attack. Then he walks halfway into the water staring daggers my way. I struggled to get to my feet and once I did I found the water deeper and with a stronger current than I had anticipated. Looking back, baby moose (We named him Gawker) was completely in the water still just staring at me. Daring me to come closer. I ran as fast as I could, but it wasn't fast enough apparently. Throughout this whole thing a few things ran through my mind on repeat. "Oh Crap." "I'm so stupid, how could I be so stupid?" "I'm by myself, I could get trampled by this moose and die and nobody would know what happened." and "Crapcrapcrap." Honestly, I take pride in the fact that I didn't swear. I've never swore and plan to keep it that way. Risking a glance back, I almost fell when I saw him take a step forward. It seemed like it took me hours to make it safely onto the bridge and out of any immediate danger from dear little Gawker. I walked/ran back to camp, my adrenaline not calming down for about half hour.

That was girl's camp. Right after I spent a week at Dad's for Bosten's baptism. The trip as a whole was great, we pretty much played the entire time. Friday we went rock-climbing, 4 wheeling and caving. And Dad found a baby eagle that couldn't fly very well. We cornered it on a 5' ledge and took about 40 pictures...

 

 This bird is real. I've been told these pictures look Photoshopped but I'm here to say they are legit.

Dad here got about a foot away.. See the claws on this bird?! 

Caving, well ha, this was the most legit caving I've ever done. I loved every minute of it.

Bosten's baptism was amazing.. except for the part where I had to give a talk! The talk itself wasn't too bad, I told a story, read a song and went too fast. But besides that I enjoyed myself. Ha it was weird though, I realized that from her baptism day (July 8, 2012) I had been baptized 10 years, 1 month and 1 week ago (June 1, 2002).. Sure makes a person feel old..

Summer Lovin'

It's summer and I'm loving it.

Shooting with friends.. of course.. I had to kidnap them otherwise they might not have come. Their anxiety and trust made it completely worthwhile. Ha an adventure if I ever had one :)

 

And dear Carni... oh the adventure. Who knew if you give a guy a dollar he'd flirt then give you a free fish.. Carnivals. There's creepers. But we, I mean Nicole, got a fish. Personally, I think it has a tracker in it and that old guy is going to start stalkin' Nicole... but hey, at least its not me ;)

Timeless

Lion King 2 and raspberries...

You can't get better than that. Seriously.

These two things will never get old. Never.

Juss sayin'

:)

Traditions and Friends.. They're Solid

Travel. Family. Craziness.

The past 2 weeks have been full of all that. It's been fun.

Seattle for a week.. Oh gosh, the flight. Now there's a story.

Bailey flew from Elko to Salt Lake then from SLC to Seattle a day later than me and mom. She still had school. Poor thing ;) Her first flight was interesting to say the least.. See, her plane starts down the runway when suddenly the Captain is on the over-com 

"We can smell something burning, but don't be alarmed. A fire truck is following us and we're going to see what's going on. Please stay calm and thank you for your patience."

A FIRE truck was following her plane.. It could have exploded.. Scary!!!

Najwa's cooking was amazing.. I think all I did was eat. Night however, oh my gosh, night was so cold! But really I had a great time, loved spending time with my cousins and family.

Flight back was weird. So we start down the runway.. but then go back to the gate. Something was wrong with the engine. Half hour later we take off.. and land in Boise. Apparently the wind was so bad in Salt Lake a semi blew over. So, after half hour in the Boise airport (I didn't know Boise had an airport!!) we took off again and finally landed in SL. 

Side note: Me and Bailey sat next to this guy from Canada, and with all those delays we had plenty of time to talk. Kinda funny, he's a farmer turned engineer like my Uncle Ryan and he was on his way to Reno.. I mention this because I was headed out to Dads for the week and on my way back yesterday I passed him. No joke. So I'm cruising down the salt flats and I pass this car. I look over then back at the road.. but then I do a double take.. and notice the guy in the car does too. We made eye contact for a few split seconds, then the distance between us gets to be too much and I fly by. But I swear. It was the guy from 9D. Also, something he said while we were flying, it has stuck with me. "Shit happens." Excuse the language, but it is a quote.. and it's true. Stuff happens and there's nothing you can do but trust that everything will be okay in the end.

A week with Dad and the kids.. fantastic. Family camping trip was great.

7 fish between me, Bailey and Brock. A record.

Swimming in the beaver pond. Ice cold water. 

All in all, a great summer so far :)

Oh and shooting across the lake both today and a week ago.. It has been great. I love the time we spend together and I love that despite the fact that we aren't a couple anymore, I love that we are still us. Nothing has changed and I feel like our friendship is a lasting one.

10 weeks til school starts.. I'm excited and nervous and scared and.. I can't wait. It's going to be great :)

As One Door Closes...

I'm graduated!!

It's so weird, on one hand nothing really changed.. but on the other, my whole world has just shifted a little. All I've ever known is school, and not to say college isn't school, but I see higher education as a more voluntary, free (in the sense of 'I'm an adult and can do what I want' kind of way) experience quite unlike the past 13 years of my life.

Now I'm considered a real adult.

I'm graduated.

Done

Finished

Out of

Never have to go back

High school.

Its a good feeling. Amazing actually. And yet so nerve wracking at the same time..

The ceremony was long and a tad stressful, seeing as I had absolutely no idea what was going on. Mom, Dad, Amber, Bailey, Nikki, Annika, Karin, Marc, Julie.. thank you all for coming and sitting through all that. Although I must say, I quite enjoyed texting during the musical numbers..

The barbeque was awesome :)

Quote of the day goes to... somebody who would murder me in my sleep if I said his name ;) "You should see me in my Wranglers, then you can really see my legs."

All in all, a fantastic day.

Thank you everybody for making it special :)

"I need to find a man thats worth a damn that treats me well." 

-A. J.

Haha, sometimes Sunday night consists of bashing on boys and singing Gives You Hell...

Its actually quite therapeutic :)

Free :)

4 years ago I made a bet.

No kissing/ getting kissed until graduation.

Why would I do this you wonder??

Easy.

A car.

Uh-huh. And guess what. I got me a 2007 Hyundai Elantra and I'm absolutely lovin' it :)

Was it worth it?

Heck yes. Most definitely.

Would I do it again?

No. Probably not..

Honestly though, I think the memories alone have made the past couple months and years worth it. That and just the experience as a whole. I can without a doubt say I have learned a ton about myself. And you know what? I'm happy with what I see. I know that I can do anything I set my mind to, I just have to make it a priority. If I want something bad enough I can make it happen. 

That's what I learned :)

"You learn that in life you gain some

and you lose some."

Love you Dad

Close Call

2 weeks ago my perception of life changed.. I guess realizing that life can end in one unexpected moment can do that to a person.

The car fishtailed, we went in a ditch and flipped. I will always remember holding the door handle when the car turned, my head hitting the roof, feeling my neck crunch and looking at Bailey. A poof of dust when the glass shattered so thick I couldn't see her anymore. The pull as I still held the door, then completing the roll. 

Every second was minutes. An absence of sound and noise.

A moment of stillness as the dust cleared and the initial shock wore off. Bailey yelling my name, checking me for injuries, me simply happy she was talking and alive.

Crawling out my door, because hers was stuck. Assessing both ourselves, each other and the car.

Then walking home. 3 miles to be exact.

We had a lot of time to contemplate life and what had happened. We were lucky. Very lucky. No major injuries. Luck? No. Blessed.

Life is to be lived. In a single instant, life as you know it could be over. What if one of us had broken a limb? Back? Died? Life would never be the same. 

In the words of Channing Tatum, we are made up of moments of impact.

This was definitely one of them.

Everyone you see, each one of them is fighting a battle.

Sometimes it is impossible to tell, other times it is obvious.

Regardless of whether you think you know what the matter is

Just remember everyone is fighting something right now.

Remember this

Treat everyone with love

It will make the world a better place

Splat!

I saw this story and thought it was a great reminder for everybody to be more... I'm not sure exactly. Understanding? Willing to share? Nice? Ha I don't know, but it is a pretty good story.

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport. As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies. She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace. Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading. When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated but said nothing. She just thought: "What a nerve! If I was in the mood I would punch him for daring!" For each cookie she took, the man took one too. This was infuriating her but she didn't want to cause a scene. When only one cookie remained she thought, "Ah, now what will this abusive man do now?" Then, the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half. Ah! That was too much! She was much too angry now! In a huff, she took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place. When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her purse to take her eyeglasses, and, to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched, unopened! She felt so ashamed!! She realized that she was wrong.. She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse. The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter... while she had been very angry, thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him. And now there was no chance to explain herself.. nor to apologize.

Wow. That was a lot longer than I expected. And the writing is terrible and I don't know if it's a true story or not... but regardless of all those things the message is the same. Don't jump to anger. Take of that what you will. Hopefully you have learned something good from this, I know I have.

Also.  

In communications we were talking about relationships. It was great.

Stanton likened relationships to pushing someone out of a building. You know those people who you don't want to have a long term relationship with but you don't want to hurt their feelings?? In the words of Mrs. Stanton and I quote (loosely.. it's not exact, I did the best I could remember):
"You're gonna kick a person out of a building but you don't want to hurt their feelings, so you drag them around and lead them on and soon enough you're on the 13th floor. That's when you kick them out. Either way they're falling out of the building, it's going to hurt, but see if you kick them out on the 1st floor there's a lot less splatter."

Then she went on to say if you take the elevator up to the 13th floor when the earthquake hits you can't find the stairs and you don't know how to get back down.


What I learned?
The best things in life take time

Spring Break on the ranch. Its grand... minus the wind and dust and hail.. grand :D

We took bread to a bunch of homeless people. Ha, that was an adventure. Those people were so nice though, I'm glad we were able to help them out even in as little a way as giving them bread.

It was a bit intimidating at first though, Bailey she said:

"They're gonna look at us like we're idiots... Then again, they're the ones sitting on the side of the road."

Haha, the funny things people say in new situations.

Okay, so annika sent this to me over text. This happened at Universal Studios.

Some lady just said to her 5ish-yr-old son: "If you hurt your sister one more time I will pull your pants down in front of all these people! I'm not kidding!"

Hahaha, ok I laughed for the longest time after this. It's terrible but hilarious at the same time, ya know? I mean, what parent threatens to pants her son?????

Haha, those are a couple of the highlights as of yet... minus the hail and the wind and the dust and the absence of power ;) 

The Gamble of Life

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye."

Excerpt from The Little Prince

by Antoine de Saint Exupery

Risks

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out for another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To hope is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. People who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing and are nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love -- live. Chained by their certitudes, they are slaves, they have forfeited their freedom.

Only a person who risks is free

Don't worry about 

failure.

Worry about the 

chances you miss

when you don't

even try.

This term in communications we're focusing on relationships. I'm talking all relationships. Family, friends, the whole deal.. not just boyfriend girlfriend stuff. 

Taking risks is scary sometimes, but without risk life would be.. dull. Very dull and boring. Risk makes life worth living. Risk can hurt, but it can also be rewarding. How you react to risk is all dependent upon whether or not you're willing to make that gamble. 

A New Appreciation

It's easy to take the things we have for granted. Each day we enjoy the comforts of some item is another day that the significance of such luxuries are lost, bit by bit.. That was phrased bad. What I mean is, if you go camping for a week, when you get home all you want is a hot shower and to sleep in your bed. After a couple days the appreciation is gone.

I've recently had a wake up call.. I guess that happens when you get an adopted brother..

My family and my home, they have always been a place of safety for me. Always. I know my parents love me and my life is good. I've got a good life.

Some people don't have that.

That feeling of safety and love given by parents and family, I never realized how... how much of a blessing that is.. I mean, yeah I've acknowledged that I have a good life, but wow. I couldn't even imagine what not having those things [love and safety] feels like.. til we adopted this brother.

All I can say is wow. I love having him here, I love that we are able to help him. I love that he is happy.

Sure, the situation may not be ideal, but we are making a difference in someone's life.

"In the end they'll judge me anyway."

People will make judgements, they're entitled to their opinions, but you know what?

We are doing the right thing, I know we are. 

Good Times :)

Hunger Games was fantastic. 

The effects from going to the midnight showing.. not so much. But then I remember that I saw the Hunger Games and it's all good :D

Festival of Colors an adventure and a half.. not to mention the 3 freeway high-fives ;)

Killing Time

Ha so once upon a time I signed up for 'Library Aid' as one of my classes... Yeah, bad idea considering I also work at the city library and now know more than a high schooler should have to know about the workings of a library.. Anyhow. I have been left in charge. Haha, yep. I'm the boss :) It's great.

I see a fire truck parked in the front of the school. Why do I see a fire truck??

Woman in Black. Go see it.

Ha, I'll be honest, I was mocking it at first and I kept expecting Daniel Radcliffe to pull out his wand, but really it was a good show. Not much of a plot, but definitely worth it. After dropping Charley off I had to drive home by myself though and oh my heck! I was scared even when he was in the car.. granted, it didn't help that he was telling me ghost stories and how the Oak Canyon Jr. High's girl's locker room is haunted.. Once he left I hit my lock button, and ya know how all the locks go down at the same time? Yeah, it repeated like 6 freakin' times! And I only hit the button once! I was ready to cry I was so scared. Before that happened I was having trouble enough not looking anywhere except the road immediately in front of me, but then I was scared of looking inside the car too! Ha, it was terrible.

But hey. Those are the times when cell phones come in handy ;)

That fire truck is still there.. actually there might be 2, it's kinda hard to tell. Odd.

Oh so midnight showing of the Hunger Games tonight after a visit with Amber and Brock.. Ha, yeah, super excited and hope all goes well :)

Silence

Don't let the length of this poem stop you from reading it. There are so many truths, that if you actually think about what its saying.. something will ring true for you. You will know the exact feeling. When I read these individual lines... 

I have known the silence of the stars and of the sea 

And the silence of a great love,  

 Memories resurface. I remember moments in time where everything was perfect. That time where I stopped and looked up at the stars or down at the canal or over the valley. Time stops. Life is perfect and simple. Cherish those moments of silence when all is right with the world. In that moment, when everything stops, time isn't lost. It's gained. Something happens where even the biggest worry disappears and seems small and insignificant when compared with what is. It's that ah-ha moment that has the potential to change your life.

And the silence of an embittered friendship

I don't know what life has in store for me, all I know is that things happen for a reason. People make mistakes and the only thing to do is to learn from them. I have regrets. "What happened doesn't define what it was." -A.J.

I know that my life is going exactly the way it's supposed to. Someday, somehow it'll all work out, but until then the only thing I can do is find joy in the good things.

SILENCE by EDGAR LEE MASTERS

I have known the silence of the stars and of the sea,
And the silence of the city when it pauses,
And the silence of a man and a maid,
And the silence of the sick
When their eyes roam about the room.
And I ask: For the depths,
Of what use is language?
A beast of the field moans a few times
When death takes its young.
And we are voiceless in the presence of realities --
We cannot speak.

A curious boy asks an old soldier
Sitting in front of the grocery store,
"How did you lose your leg?"
And the old soldier is struck with silence,
Or his mind flies away
Because he cannot concentrate it on Gettysburg.
It comes back jocosely
And he says, "A bear bit it off."
And the boy wonders, while the old soldier
Dumbly, feebly lives over
The flashes of guns, the thunder of cannon,
The shrieks of the slain,
And himself lying on the ground,
And the hospital surgeons, the knives,
And the long days in bed.
But if he could describe it all
He would be an artist.
But if he were an artist there would be deeper wounds
Which he could not describe.

There is the silence of a great hatred,
And the silence of a great love,
And the silence of an embittered friendship.
There is the silence of a spiritual crisis,
Through which your soul, exquisitely tortured,
Comes with visions not to be uttered
Into a realm of higher life.
There is the silence of defeat.
There is the silence of those unjustly punished;
And the silence of the dying whose hand
Suddenly grips yours.
There is the silence between father and son,
When the father cannot explain his life,
Even though he be misunderstood for it.

There is the silence that comes between husband and wife.
There is the silence of those who have failed;
And the vast silence that covers
Broken nations and vanquished leaders.
There is the silence of Lincoln,
Thinking of the poverty of his youth.
And the silence of Napoleon
After Waterloo.
And the silence of Jeanne d'Arc
Saying amid the flames, "Blessed Jesus" --
Revealing in two words all sorrows, all hope.
And there is the silence of age,
Too full of wisdom for the tongue to utter it
In words intelligible to those who have not lived
The great range of life.

And there is the silence of the dead.
If we who are in life cannot speak
Of profound experiences,
Why do you marvel that the dead
Do not tell you of death?
Their silence shall be interpreted
As we approach them. 

Summer Job??

Dear Barrick..
 Yes you are a mining company and yes I have absolutely no experience with mining.. well, sort of, but not really... anyway, you should hire me. Yes, I'm small and only 18.. in April :) but how cool would that be to be able to say I work for a mine?? Ha, I doubt many other girls my age could say that. And personally, I think I'd be pretty good at hauling dirt in a huge truck.. I mean, XM radio and texting? Ha who wouldn't like that?? And the office stuff wouldn't be that bad either.. although, you know, I don't know how well this early morning thing is going to work, but I guess that only comes if I get the job, huh?

Here's to hoping my application goes through and I have an awesome summer job :)

What's Important?

"We all have baggage, the stuff we always carry with us. But what are the essentials, the things we simply can't live without? And what are the things we'd be better leaving behind? Its hard to know what's in your own baggage until you take a closer look."

Jane by Design... I know, I watch too much tv

I heard this and it got me thinking.

We.. at least I.. waste so much time. What are the things that actually matter in my life and what am I doing about it? Ha, all I mean is what am I doing to keep the important things important??

Forgotten

I've been meaning to share all these wonderful tidbits of inspiration and laughs for the longest time.. but I've been short on time.. Anyhow, here they are, enjoy :)

"Inside you is the power to do anything."

"Nothing happens unless first a dream."

Mom, before being prepped for surgery. "What is wrong with those hyenas over there?!!" Ha, probably another one of those you had to be there moments :)

"No one has ever become poor by giving." Have you ever read 'The Giving Tree'? What about 'The Taking Tree'? The second is a parody on the first and ha, it's good :) But seriously, so true. When you give you gain, it's that simple.

"Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie." Ha, I love my friends.. or whoever said this.. I may have forgotten ;)

"Don't promise when you're happy. Do not reply when you're angry and do not decide when you're sad." Truer words of wisdom have not been spoken.. Well maybe.. but this sounds pretty good to me.

Dear Math, go solve your own problems!

And my personal favorite:

"You can do hard things.. just like you can wait til marriage, you can wait til graduation"

Thank you Rachel :)

Every Moment Counts

It's really the little things in life that count.. and there have been so many little moments that have taken my breath away these past couple of days.

The look of sheer panic on my face as Annika takes the brake off when we're parked on a downhill slope.. I swear, we were gonna die.

The realization of just how terrible I was when I leaned in for a kiss that I knew was not going to happen.. not that night anyway ;)

Jumping out the window at the church to retrieve a bag of burnt popcorn before Annika could get to it then having her come in and say "It's gone! I think an animal ran away with it.. or a hobo!" Haha, best laugh I've had in a while :)

The tiny moments that you wish would never end..

A lot of my friends keep quote books, and til lately I've never been able to make my way onto the page of fame. Ha, I don't know what changed, but I'm proud of these two:

"Out there its like you castrate a cow and then go make a sandwich."

"Life works in mysterious ways.. but it works."

See, I can be profound if I want to be ;)

I was recently given this poem and well I love it and want to share it and remember it:

The Builders

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

All our architects of Fate,

Working in these walls of Time;

Some with massive deeds and great,

Some with ornaments of rhyme.

Nothing useless is, or low;

Each thing in its place is best;

And what seems but idle show

Strengthens and supports the rest.

For the structure that we raise,

Time is with materials filled;

Our to-days and yesterdays

Are the blocks with which we build.

Truly shape and fashion these;

Leave no yawning gaps between;

Think not, because no man sees,

Such things will remain unseen.

In the elder days of Art,

Builders wrought with greatest care

Each minute and unseen part;

For the Gods see everywhere.

Let us do our work as well, 

Both the unseen and the seen;

Make the house, where Gods may dwell,

Beautiful, entire, and clean.

Else our lives are incomplete,

Standing in these walls of Time,

Broken stairways, where the feet

Stumble as they seek to climb.

But to-day, then, strong and sure,

With a firm and ample base;

And ascending and secure

Shall to-morrow find its place.

Thus alone can we attain

To those turrets, where the eye

Sees the world as one vast plain,

And one boundless reach of sky.

We are who we are based on the things we've experienced, the people who've touched our lives, and the way we've lived our yesterdays. "Our todays and yesterdays are the blocks with which we build."

I'm Trying..

[Rafiki hits Simba on the head with his stick] 
Adult Simba: Ow! Jeez, what was that for?
Rafiki: It doesn't matter. It's in the past.
[laughs]
Adult Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the from way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it. 


You know the feeling you get when you've let someone down? What about when that someone is a really close friend who you'd do just about anything for?
Yeah. I know the feeling. It sucks.
I've been hit over the head and right now the past kinda hurts. But. I can run from it or learn from it. Like Simba, I have decided to learn from this.. and I'm doing my best to fix the cracks in the broken mirror..

"Life is too good to get hung up on the little things..."

          A. H.     

Gimme A Smile :)

William Shakespeare was a genius.. for his time anyway.. Personally I don't take to much of his work, but, he did say this which I think is pretty good: The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief. Ha, I guess he did know what he was talking about :)

Ha, now onto the good stuff..

My favorites are... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 11 and 12 ha so pretty much all of them :)

Ever heard of the Darwin Awards? Well if not they're mostly just mocking stupid people.. Out of a list of  ten the number one winner was also my favorite.. It goes like this:

When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Prove, Utah would be robber Jason Ellison did something that can only inspire wonder. He looked down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

Ha.. yeah that kinda made my day :D

:) :) :)

2 weeks off caffeine.. done. Kylee eating the shrimp.. done +1

She ate (and I'm talking chewed not swallowed) the shrimp plus one of the fish. And since we didn't want the last fish to be sad and alone.. Charley ate him. Eeww, it crunched!! :( So gross! 

But. I've been on a high these past few days.. weeks.. month.. and being on a happy high is one of the best feelings ever. I am genuinely happy and I don't think anything could make me happier. 

My mind is always going, running the same things over and over again.. the almost firsts, the view, my dead car, my frozen toes and, ha the look on your face. Oh my heck, priceless is the only way I can describe it :) 

"Life is going to take me on an adventure and good or bad it will be something worth living for"

~C.R.

100 Reasons

Beth.. You are the best :)

Ha, I don't even remember why she did this, but she decided to write me 100 reasons why she loves me. Can I just say, it absolutely made my day?!! And I mean seriously, a hundred is a lot.. I have a hard time writing birthday/Christmas cards.

Anyway, here are some of my favorite ones, both the funny and the meaningful :)

1. You're sarcasm? Is my hero.

3. I can tell you anything. You will respect it, and respond with something I will never forget.

5. When I need a laugh I can get one from you!

12. I know if there was a bridge you would push me off, laugh, then jump in and save me.

15. If I had to pick a mini person to sit on your shoulder all day I would pick you.

16. You can make me cry. Of laughter.

18. I can tell you anything and you won't be shocked.

22. Your sense of humor is top notch.

31. Because of you, no matter what may come tomorrow, today my life is more complete.

35. Your voice is like fudge. Still good after it's been eaten.

42. Your birthday is on a fantastic day. It wasn't fantastic till you were birthed.

44. You can laugh at yourself when we laugh at you.

49. We insult each other. That's what makes a good friendship.

61. I have a 6 pack from all the laughing I do when I am with you.

77. I love how you are my soul mate. 

78. You make me worry.

83. You are never boring.

88. I have never met anyone like you.

100. I love that no one loves you!

Beth- I love you! 

I don't know how you came up with all this, but it is amazing. Absolutely great and I love it. I will keep it for longer than forever :D

Never regret anything that made you smile.

C.R.E.E.P.Y.!!!

Ha, wow. So For English I'm doing this research paper on Criminal Profiling.. You know, like Criminal Minds kinda stuff.. Anyway, not only does this paper have to be 8-12 pages, but we have to get an interview.. Yeah, like who can I talk to that works in FBI profiling?? 

Nicole so graciously suggested I call the FBI.. but I don't know..

Wanna know something super intense and kinda weird?

I was at work today til 9 and I mean seriously, it's a library, its boring. Right? Haha, not today it wasn't :)

Fugitive Special Task Force came in and arrested a guy. 

No joke. It was so fast and so quiet, had I not been right there I would've missed the whole thing. This guy was talking on the phone when 6 cops in black jackets walk in, cuff him and take him outside. One of the cops come back and apologizes for ruining our peaceful evening then went on to explain that this guy had several warrants out for his arrest and they (the cops) were a Fugitive Special Task Force and they'd been looking for this guy for awhile.

Scary!

Oh, but I was so mad, I didn't think to ask the nice fugitive catcher about Criminal Profiling until he was out the door! Yeah, I'm mad.. but I'm thinking about going to the Police Station sometime soon to see if they can give me any info.

Oh, and I'll end this fascinating post with mention of skipping the assembly and going for ice cream. That was the best part of my day. Hands up :)

No One Loves You.

I walk out of Stats for 5 minutes and when I get back I'm completely ignored by my friends.. plus one.. Then when I turn on my calculator it says:

NO ONE LOVES YOU

I look at the back of my homework and it says:

NO ONE LOVES YOU

Wow. I think I suck at life.. just kidding :D

You see, if in actuality nobody loved me, I'm pretty sure no one would take the time to write on my homework and defile my calculator in such a manner. Ha, seriously though, when I saw what it said on my calc I cried. Yes. I cried. I was laughing so hard I couldn't help it. I don't know what this says about me, but 4 demeaning, depressing words made my day :)

... It's a good thing I don't get easily offended...

Luke 1:37

"For with God nothing shall be impossible."

(While tapping on my forehead) "Say the first 10 breakfast cereals that you can think of."

Me: "Umm, uh, it's hard to think, haha, I don't know.... pancakes!"

Ha, here's to pancakes and, well.. everything else :)

The Power Of A Sticky Note

Everybody's got their good days... and their bad. Heck, yesterday was a bad one for me. Today, however has been quite good :)

~Skipping first period to work on my AP Essay question intro.. yeah, kill me now.. but talking to Mrs. Stanton was way good :)

~ Pollsters... survey people, but haha, thinking along the lines of our little 'stake-out'.. wow.. not good :)

~Lunch.. Being mocked for calling my grilled cheese a sandwich.. What the heck, right?

~Watching the big shrimp (the one Kylee has to eat in 10 days) chow down on another dead shrimp.. Haha, she's gonna get sick, but hey, she's the one that volunteered to do this ;) Might I mention that that shrimp has already eaten half the bowl... Out of 3 fish and 3 shrimp it's eaten the 2 smaller shrimps and Charley (the fish that died).

Remember the power of one

One person can make a difference. Really. I have no idea who has been leaving these post it notes in the girl's bathroom mirror, but 90% sure it's the same person. Can I just say, seeing one of these just kinda makes me happy. It's a random piece of inspiration that'll make any girl smile for the rest of the day. Hands down, guaranteed. I love this idea and I don't think this person knows just how much of an impact she's having on others. 

And I mean, lets be real, it takes 5 seconds to write something great on a sticky note and stick it up on a mirror. I'd say about 30 girls may see this... Ha, I don't know, I just made up a number, but it is girls so the number may be higher ;)... Anyway. If one girl takes a picture then either posts it to facebook or sends it to friends via text.. that's a lot of people. And hey, I'll be honest, I didn't take either of these pictures. The first was sent to me and the second I stole from facebook. But still. Sharing is caring right :)

Just saying :) One person really does make a difference.

1 Down, 13 To Go

Me and Kylee, we made this bet. Well.. it was her idea.

I go 2 weeks without this:

and all other caffeinated drinks.

Now. As terrible as this is, it's really not that bad considering what Kylee must do WHEN (not if) I win. Drumroll please.... Kylee volunteered to eat.. wait for it, wait for it...

That's right. 

She's going to eat this devil of a fish-eater shrimp.. Oh, have I mentioned it's growing?

Haha, these 2 weeks are gonna be totally worth it :D 

Ha, wish me luck :)

Surprise Surprise

Long weekend, I love you :)

Little Honda, you're great and I'm glad I can rely on you :)

This weekend we (Me, Bailey, Annika, Kylee) decided to surprise the family with a visit.. Since I can't write about everything here's my list of unforgettables:

✔ Trying to make the drive on one tank of gas... and kinda sorta failing...

✔ Strangling Brock in the mudroom to keep him from yelling out and ruining our surprise visit.

✔ The look on Dad's face when he walked into the room and saw us.

✔Spending time with Cola :)

✔ Shooting a penny and quarter from 75 yards.

✔ The feeling of utter shame at losing the vast majority of all the wrestling matches between me, Brock, Annika and Kylee... not to mention the part where it took me a few minutes to take Asia down.. talk about sad on my part. Don't judge me.

✔ Driving the get-away car during the "stake-out."

✔ Lamb for lunch :)

There's more... but I'm kinda tired and can't think. So. 

 

Might I mention that Brock's horse Chalkadon doesn't have issues with hats... Cola does haha :)

Isn't she so sweet :D